I’m not a big fan of the tabloid culture, but somehow I still end up being aware of all the latest celebrity scandals and missteps. Once upon a time, I could listen to a CD or watch a movie without being reminded that the star is an (a) alcoholic, (b) complete jerk, or (c) member of the Church of Scientology. Frankly, I just want to be entertained.
Some famous folks become irritating all by themselves, and then there are those who rub me the wrong way through no real fault of their own. This is my current list of the 10 most annoying celebrities, and I hope it will expose you to a whole new world of disdain and loathing.
I also hope you won’t take what I say too seriously. While all of these individuals get on my nerves, I would still shake their hands and be civil if forced to share an elevator ride. After all, if you’re going to accuse someone of being obnoxious, you should at least try not to mimic their behavior.
10. Adam Sandler – The former SNL funnyman has made me laugh a lot over the years, but his career has become about as enjoyable as nails on a chalkboard. Jack and Jill was one of the dumbest projects ever committed to film, and his other flicks from the last decade each appeal to the lowest common denominator with gay jokes and laughs based around gross-out humor. If you like his recent movies, then there’s a good chance that you’re a moron.
9. Vince Vaughn – There was a time when Vince Vaughn looked like a breakout star with surprising range. Sadly, any hope of Vaughn establishing himself as a dramatic actor has went by the wayside thanks to his essentially making the same film over and over. He’s the smart aleck with the heart of gold, and that act got tired about ten films ago.
8. Amanda Bynes – She was a cute teenager who starred in a string of hit films, but then she got into her twenties and started to look a little weird. It’s not her shifting appearance that annoys me, though; it’s her constant look-at-me moments on social networking sites and run-ins with the law.
7. Wynonna Judd – This country queen once said, “I don’t have time for ugly men.” My response: I don’t have time for overweight gals who wash out on Dancing with the Stars and are rapidly approaching the end of their career.
6. Gordon Ramsay – This celebrity chef is a real tough guy when the cameras are rolling and he’s got a bodyguard or two standing just out of frame. However, something tells me this scrappy European foodie would get beat down quick if he acted like this in real life.
5. Rihanna – You’re going to get a lot of sympathy when you’re the victim of domestic violence. But that sympathy may turn to disdain when it becomes obvious that you’re obsessed with attention in any form, whether you’re constantly posting bikini pictures online or taking back your pugilistic boyfriend. I also get the sense that the singer thinks she’s a lot better looking than she really is.
4. Kim Kardashian – Here’s a woman who got famous from making a sex tape, and then she followed that up by co-starring with her attention-starved family on a reality show. She’s been rewarded with millions of dollars, and even managed to get herself knocked up by someone with actual talent.
3. Ryan Seacrest – In some other universe, Mr. Seacrest is wearing cheap polo shirts and begging for spare change. In this reality, however, he’s managed to become a multi-millionaire just by flashing a cheesy grin and delivering what has to be one of the lamest catch-phrases of all time.
2. Jay Leno – He used to seem like a nice guy, but the events surrounding the departure of Conan O’Brien from The Tonight Show have shown why he’s one of the most disliked people among fellow comedians. His act got stale over a decade ago, which is a real shame when you consider how talented he was in the early years of his career.
1. Spike Lee – If the director of Do the Right Thing and Malcolm X saw that I put his name on top of this list, I imagine he would publically accuse me of being a racist. And that’s exactly why he tops my list.
There’s a good chance that your list of the 10 most annoying celebrities is quite different from mine, but I hope you can at least see where I’m coming from. These famous men and women have been plaguing my waking moments for years, and some even pop up in my dreams from time to time. That might sound like something a deranged stalker would say, but I think it’s becoming increasingly common in a culture where a celebrity’s private life is scrutinized more closely than what they do on stage or screen.
Unfortunately, everyone on my list has enjoyed a huge amount of success at one time or another, which guarantees that they’ll be hanging around in the public consciousness for years thanks to shows that shine the spotlight on even the lowliest of C-list celebs. Damn you to hell, Celebrity Rehab!