This post is aimed at women. It’s a man’s perspective on things to avoid doing unless you want to annoy a man you’re dating. I didn’t limit myself to stuff women do on a single date; some of these behaviors can be chronic. If you realize that you’ve been doing some of this stuff, then maybe it’s time to stop.
In fact, maybe if you’re paying attention, you can spend less time surfing dating websites looking for someone to replace the last decent man that you pissed off.
Lying is always annoying. You don’t have to lie about how many men you’ve slept with. We don’t really care. Lying about your weight is silly, too, although I don’t know any man with the chutzpah to actually ask a woman about her weight.
The worst lies of all are the ones early in the relationship, when you’re discussing the things you like to do. Don’t lie and say you love camping if you hate it. If he’s a Democrat, and you’re a Republican, don’t lie about it. (Although I don’t know any Republicans who would EVER dream of skipping a chance to browbeat a Democrat.)
Be real. It’s your only chance at having a real relationship with a man. (More about why you shouldn’t lie.)
Talking bad about other women is almost always annoying. You might even try saying something nice about another woman sometime. My last girlfriend couldn’t even find anything nice to say about her sisters or her mother. Men wonder why women would talk so bad about other women, and most of them come to the same conclusion–it’s a coping strategy for fear and insecurity. Wouldn’t you rather look courageous and secure? Men like that. Really. See: “Women Who Hate Other Women”
Being extremely needy is a big turn-off. I have a friend who’s a total loser. He can’t get a girlfriend to save his life. I think in the last 20 years he’s dated 4 women. I know that at least one of them dumped him because he was coming on way too strong way too fast. (He was needy.)
He finally met and started dating a woman who is just as needy as he is.
He dumped her.
Men hate neediness.
Some women talk too much. Learn how to enjoy a comfortable silence. You don’t get points for talking constantly. Sometimes a man even likes to express himself and make a point or two in a conversation.
Men hate being constantly tested by a woman. For example, a beautiful woman walks into the room, and she’s wearing a very low-cut dress. My girlfriend asks me, “Wow! Did you see her?”
The problem with this kind of test is that there’s no way for a man to pass it.
Skip the head games, please. Especially if you’re over 19 years of age.
Crying is usually not called for. Most men find a crying woman uncomfortable and annoying. Now, if your father just died, of course you’re going to cry. But you don’t have to start bawling at every sad scene in every sad movie, do you?
Is it really necessary to cry when you read about some bad news that happened on the other side of the country? Especially if it had nothing to do with you?
Men don’t like to shop. Don’t force a man to go shopping. If you do, you’ll pay for it, one way or another. Let him do his own thing, and find some girlfriends to go shopping with instead.
Unsolicited advice is just criticism in disguise. This is good advice for anyone, not just women. My last girlfriend LOVED to offer advice on anything and everything. If I was explaining how I felt about a situation in my life, she’d jump in with some “good advice”. If I said something in front of my sons that she thought needed correcting, she’d jump in and offer some “helpful advice”.
She can go to hell.
Withholding sex to punish a man is a form of abuse. Yeah, we get that you’re not always in the mood. We also understand that if you’re mad, you’re not going to feel very loving. But if you’re in a long-term relationship with a guy, and you’re refusing sex for a long period of time, then let’s face it, you’re just trying to punish him for something. That’s not going to do your relationship any good. And you’re not going to achieve your goal, either, unless your goal is to get him to dump you.
I hope you’re a woman reading this. And I hope you’ve learned something. If I’ve managed to save one man some headaches, then my job here is done. I hope that my advice here has helped more than just the men out there, though. There are advantages to women who don’t annoy their dates, too.